This week I’m feeling risky. I’m throwing all my normal planning away and living life on the edge or some might say off the cuff.
I put a lot of thought into all of my pieces because I’m passionate about my writing and what I’m writing about. I also put a lot of stress on my sentence structure. I’m very focused on how my sentences sound; making sure that they’re not only properly written, but also sound like me. I want everything I write and create to contain bits of me. I want my personality to shine through and I want it to be a way to be my most authentic self.
So, I’m rising to the challenge today and letting myself be a little more relaxed. Throwing caution to the wind; diving in headfirst!
By show of hands, who is afraid of failure?
*Two hands from me*
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel like this is a common fear. What is so wrong with failing? Where did we decide that failing defines us as people?
Society, pressures, and standards seem to play into failure. All three also have a hand in creating this fear. It feels like we’re all expected to succeed at all the same things in the same amount of time. How can that be if we’re all different?
This is a major contradiction, don’t you think? We’re encouraged to be ourselves, to be individuals, to not follow the heard, but we’re also all held to specific standards. Like, we all need to accomplish these things in this time frame. Then we’re panicked about accomplishing these things and terrified that we won’t. What happens if you can’t accomplish these things? Then you’re not only filled with failure, but you’re also filled with shame because of course failure and shame goes together like wine and a really good cheese board.
Did anyone else miss the meeting where society as a whole decided applying more pressure meant more accomplishments? Yeah, me too!
I thrive under pressure. Sometimes extra pressure is what I need to get something done, but with that being said it can be overwhelming and fear evoking. That fear of failure can become amplified. Like, I’m not only failing, but I’m failing myself and I’m ashamed. That’s not fair.
Why is shame such a big component of failure? So what if you don’t accomplish something on the first try. Weren’t we taught as kids that if you fall get back up and try again? Was that all a lie? The number of tries or even the number of accomplishments you have doesn’t define you as a person.
You should always be proud of your accomplishments, but you should never let them define you, whether you succeed after the first try or if you succeed after the 160th try.
There are numerous benefits to failing. You grow as a person when you fail because you understand what it really takes to accomplish something. You don’t take those accomplishments for granted.
We’re all different! We’re all going to be good at different things and we’re all going to accomplish things at different paces. Let’s embrace it!
Also keep in mind; if you never accomplish something, but you enjoy it and it’s not hurting anyone keep doing it. Sometimes you just have to do something for the sheer purpose of enjoyment.
The first step to facing your fear is recognizing that it’s there. I’m guilty of ignoring my fear of failure, but recently it’s been a major part of my thinking. So, I’m recognizing it today and sharing it with all of you.
If you didn’t know I recently started my first podcast off the Paigee {if you haven’t listened yet, you need to *available on Spotify & Apple Podcasts*} and I’m terrified of failing at it. I wont say that I started this podcast on a whim, but I will say it was much more of an impulsive decision for me. I decided to do it because I love podcasts, I’m very passionate about creating content, and I thought it would be fun. I went in full force. I didn’t stop to think at any point what would happen if this failed. Those thoughts have started to creep in. What happens if people don’t like it? What happens if the content isn’t people’s vibe? What happens if no one listens, ever? I had to stop myself and ask; what does it matter? I’ll tell you what does matter! I’m having fun. I’m doing something that brings me enormous amounts of happiness and I hope people can hear that, but also experience it.
I’m quickly learning that the podcasting realm creates a new vulnerability. I thought writing and visual content, like Instagram and YouTube, created a vulnerable place. Boy, was I wrong! I personally feel more vulnerable in my podcast episodes because all there is is my voice, opinions, and my tone. It’s easier to pickup on someone’s vibe or tone visually because of body language. A tone on audio can always be taken differently depending on how you hear it. So, I’m always nervous about how I’m being perceived, but I’m refusing to let that stop me. I’m just crossing my fingers and giving it all I have.
It’s okay to fail! It’s okay to fail and we don’t say that enough. There’s such a bad a connotation behind failure, but there shouldn’t be. We all fail, we’re all going to fail, and it’s nothing that we should be embarrassed or ashamed of. The concept of failure needs to be humanized. We’re quick to share our accomplishments, but we should be quicker to share our failures. It’s what makes us who we are. That should be highlighted and not shoved in a dark corner.
I’m afraid of failing, but I’ll never let that stop me and you shouldn’t either.
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