I’ve been spending much more time than usual scrolling through various social media platforms and watching endless YouTube videos. I mean, who isn’t? I’ve noticed a trend, a reoccurring trend: gaslighting.
If I’m being completely honest, I’m someone who believes in signs. The universe is always trying to tell me something. Do I always listen? No and believe me it comes back to bite me when I don’t. You’re probably asking; what does that have to do with gaslighting? I have a point, I promise.
Listening to one gaslighting story invoked a myriad of emotions. It planted an inspired seed, but I wasn’t sure. I was teetering. I saw two more people talk about gaslighting and my decision was made.
If you’re not sure what gaslighting means, don’t feel bad. I didn’t know what it was until my early 20s and I’m just entering the mid-20s range. The idea behind gaslighting revolves heavily around manipulation. Spark Notes version: someone makes you question yourself i.e. your sanity.
This made an ENORMOUS amount of sense. The clarity that overwhelmed me gave me new insight and understanding. I was not crazy.
It can be disheartening when someone exploits your sanity for his or her own personal gain.
It hurts worse when it comes from relationships * friendships or otherwise. * Those are supposed to be the people you can lean on for any and everything. Personally, it’s always filled me with guilt on top of making me feel crazy. Like, I shouldn’t be feeling the way that I feel and maybe it’s all in my head.
Relationships hit on an emotional level, but authority figures hit on a mental level. I’ve never felt so crazy until authority figures were gaslighting. What do you do in that scenario? I know that I put up with it until I couldn’t anymore. I’m one stubborn girl, some might say too stubborn, but I refuse to let someone break me.
I left respectfully and at the time didn’t have a word for what was happening. I just felt crazy. *Cue all the clarity*
One of the major motivations {aside from seeing so many talk about their experiences//opinions} was wanting all of you to know that it’s okay to feel however you feel.
It breaks my heart when anyone feels invalid. Like, they don’t have the right to feel some type of way or they’re being told they have no reason to feel that way.
If you take anything from this or anything I’ve written or anything I will write I hope that it’s this; your feelings are valid and NO ONE should ever make you feel//think otherwise.
You have every right to feel anyway your heart desires. You’re the only one who decides how you feel. If someone is gaslighting you they’re not worth your time or energy. NEVER LET ANYONE DULL YOUR SPARKLE! *SNAPS*
So, if no one has told you yet today: you are a beautiful human being who deserves the world and nothing less. Your true authentic self is your best self.
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